"it's called a spade" is a reference to calling life like it is instead of hiding the tough stuff and pretending like everything is fine. It's a collection of stories about life, about people and God, recovery and relapse, heartache and brokenness, and the reality that life is hard, even if you believe in God, even if you don't. But there is also hope and humor and healing that comes without answers. This is a collection of stories from a human who almost disappeared in her efforts to be seen, a girl who called spades hearts and smiled while bluffing.

JJ Barrows is an artist, writer and stand-up comedian, born and bred with southern manners and a wanderer's heart that has taken her all over the globe. Though she's known for her humor and bright colors, as a "grownup" middle child in recovery from an aggressive eating disorder, confusing religion, dysfunctional family and an on-again-off-again relationship with depression, she writes honestly about the darker shades of life that are often hard to talk about. When not speaking or performing, she enjoys traveling with her husband or life at home on the beaches of Southern California, surfing, biking, or crying at sunset. Life is too beautiful not to cry.